I just got back from the CUE conference in Denver. As usual it was a terrific event (if you don’t go to CUE you should). We delivered two oversold sessions of the Approachable Leadership workshop to attendees as a pre-conference workshop. We really enjoyed the opportunity to spread the word about Approachable Leadership. I haven’t been to Denver in a while. Now that they’ve legalized pot it reminds me a lot of Ann Arbor, where I went to law school. After Michigan’s stunning last second defeat to the Spartans I’m guessing Ann Arbor looked (or at least smelled) a lot like Denver after the game. I can’t wait to watch that play over and over again for the next two decades – not nearly as much fun as watching Desmond Howard strike the Heisman pose. What was even more disappointing than that last second defeat (and that’s saying something) was the way some Michigan “fans” treated punter Blake O’Neill after the game. Don’t get me wrong, I taught my daughter a couple of new swears during that final 10 seconds. It’s the most disappointing loss I can remember. But the reaction on social media was idiotic (and perhaps even criminal – literally). I’ll come back to that in a minute. But first I’d like to point out an approachability lesson I took from the aftermath of this disappointing defeat.
Jim Harbaugh – Michigan Head Coach – via Wikipedia
Jim Harbaugh is the best coach in college football. The job he’s done with this team is amazing. However, when you think about terms to describe his leadership qualities “approachable” isn’t up there at the top of the list. He’s a fierce competitor (he doesn’t like to waste time on the team picture so he clocks how long it takes to get one taken –
this year’s team bested all prior Harbaugh teams). He has incredibly high standards. He doesn’t put up with excuses. Harbaugh got a lot of flack for his
post-game comments about the fumbled punt. Mostly people complained that he didn’t take the opportunity to compliment his young punter who must have been devastated for himself and his teammates. The big quote people complained about was, “mistakes were made.” Many commentators chalked up this “harsh” treatment of O’Neill to Harbaugh being Harbaugh. I don’t think Harbaugh was being harsh. He communicated plainly about what happened, but more important he communicated about the high standards he and his whole team share. I get questions about this distinction all the time in our Approachable Leadership Workshops. Some leaders (the tough competitors in the Harbaugh mold) bristle at the idea of approachability because they think it means you have to be everyone’s best friend or the nicest person in the room. They are relieved when we explain that approachable does not mean you can’t be tough, competitive or hold people to high standards. The best leaders do all three. Let’s note first and foremost that you can’t tell much from a press conference. Coaches hate them (especially after such a disappointing loss). Win or lose, coaches would prefer more than anything to be back with their team. But it’s part of the game and so they play along. The best coaches (and Harbaugh clearly falls into this camp) use the opportunity to communicate key messages. The two that stood out to me are “steel in our spine” and “we played winning football.” Those were repeated again and again. Harbaugh stated over and over how he and the team would respond to the loss: “steel in our spine” and get back to work. Winning is a process, and this is just one step in that process. The team played great and has played that way all year: “winning football.” This one setback is not going to change that. Did Harbaugh miss an opportunity to pump up his young punter? Perhaps. He could have mentioned that O’Neill’s terrific punting is one of the key reasons Michigan pitched 3 shutouts in a row or reminded everyone that he also
booted a punt 80 yards earlier in the same game. He could have spread some blame around. After all the snap was at O’Neill’s feet (he did mention that) and the line failed to block pretty much the entire MSU squad. But coddling players during press conferences is not Harbaugh’s style. If you’ve watched any other Harbaugh press conference you’ll note he is just as animated talking about
an opening kickoff touchdown as he is a last second defeat. Going out of his way to comfort his punter in this context would seem even less authentic. Further, it telegraphs to his punter and the team that he thinks this play is somehow devastating to their season or the team. It’s not. The entire team knew exactly what happened. “Mistakes were made. We will correct them.” Steel in our spine. Play winning football. In the days since the game both O’Neill and Harbaugh
have spoken about how O’Neill is handling the situation (just fine, thank you very much). “I think he’s gonna handle it as well or better than anybody we’ve seen in this position,” Harbaugh said. “It’s never one play in a football game that determines a football game.” You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but I guarantee O’Neill would run through a brick wall for his coach, along with the rest of his teammates. You can be tough and approachable. They are not opposites. You can hold people to high standards, express disappointment when they fail to deliver, and then encourage them to get up, dust themselves off and go for it again. You can play like a winner and not get the result on one particular day. Winning is a process, not a destination. That’s as true in life as it is on a football field. Finally, to the so-called “fans” who blasted a college kid for dropping a ball in a game. There is an approachability lesson here as well. Try three quick thought experiments:
- First, pretend for a second that O’Neill is your son. What tweet would you send? Send that one.
- Second, have you ever done anything that, if broadcast on national television, would be embarrassing or that you would regret? What would you want people to post on their Facebook page about that?
- Last experiment. Get a life.
